There is an eternal tale,
That "all life is frail." The Autumnal season speaks the word. Fall is seen and Fall is heard. Green leaves are the lungs of the earth. And green is the color of life and its worth. Brown is autumn's deathly call. Piles of compost littering Fall. There is an eternal tale, That "all life is frail." But is this tale really eternal? Could there be something alive that's supernal? When leaves will be green perpetually, And life will march on indefinitely?
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_ The following is a guest post from a member of my congregation, Natalie McLaury. Natalie is a renowned food blogger (The Sweets Life). I asked her to consider food and relationships. Read and consider what food does for your family. For your congregation. For the mission of the church.
You can’t really tell your pastor “no” when he asks you to guest blog, can you? I didn’t think so. Thankfully, he asked me to write on a topic I can’t really get enough of: food. More specifically, how it is that food fosters relationships. Whether I realized it or not, I have been witnessing relationships fostered by food my whole life. For the first twenty-two years of my life, this was something I partook in as a willing participant and spectator. Sitting down to Christmas dinner with my extended family, lovingly prepared by my grandma. Eating a warm meal around a campfire, prepared by guides, after twelve hours of climbing through the mountains of Colorado. Filling up a tray with the dish of the day in the Truman State University dining hall before sitting down to a leisurely dinner full of chatter with friends. Making a stop at the Dairy Queen drive through window with my dad after a winning soccer game. Food inevitably connects people, because everyone needs food. After twenty-two years of connecting with people over food prepared by others, everything changed. My increased interest in food sprung from a relationship—that with my new husband. With a mouth to feed other than my own, my entire outlook on food shifted and I tapped an undiscovered passion: connecting with others through food prepared by me. That was over three years ago. In those three years, I’ve started a blog. I’ve posted over 800 recipes on that blog. I won a recipe contest that took me to San Francisco, where I met other food bloggers just as passionate about food and cooking as I am. I’ve hosted friends for countless meals, supplied post-church refreshments more times than I can count, and even thrown a party featuring twelve kinds of cheesecake! What have I learned? I’ll say it again: food inevitably connects people, because everyone needs food. My college-aged brother, who I don’t see or talk to as often as I’d like, knows I’m thinking about him when that fresh batch of cookies arrives at his dorm. Our common denominator is food. A reader emails me a question and shares a story about how she relates with something I mentioned on the blog. I am suddenly making personal connections with someone I only know by name. Our common denominator is food. A distant great-uncle shares his favorite recipes with me and reads every word of my email in which I recount a great meal I recently had. Our common denominator is food. A friend becomes a best friend when we bond in the kitchen, making huge messes and creating delicious meals. Our common denominator is food. I sit at a table with my husband’s family, sharing stories and creating memories while feasting on homemade pie and ice cream, prepared by me. Our common denominator is food. My life has infinitely richened since I started proactively using food as a way to reach out to others—first my brand new husband and now, quite literally, thousands of people around the world. Don’t get me wrong—cooking night after night, writing blog post after blog post is not a requirement to foster relationships through food. It’s the road I’ve been led on, but isn’t most likely yours. Find other ways to reach that common denominator of food with others. Invite a friend to grab sushi with you. Pick up a brownie mix and bring in a treat for your coworkers. Call your mom when you see a recipe for macaroni and cheese that reminds you of your favorite childhood meal. Food inevitably connects people, because everyone needs food. How can you use food to connect? _
Posted on our church's website two weeks ago by my beautiful bride, Bobbi Jo Cloeter. I’ve spent a third of my life as a wife. Remember that I am young, so it’s not as long as you think. I met my husband 12 ½ years ago when we were both camp counselors. I knew the moment I saw him, I was going to marry him. Needless to say, he didn’t stand a chance.Back then he was a quiet, serious, thoughtful college student.I was pretty much the opposite. We instantly clashed. In fact, I’m pretty sure the staff was taking bets as to how long before there was a brawl between the two of us. As it turns out, we didn’t hate each other, but were actually attracted to each other. We would spend hours talking and sharing stories and dreams and silly jokes and confessing our deepest, darkest secrets. At the time, I didn’t know how important those hours were. We still think back to those days with a wistfulness for more times like that and probably a bit of disbelief that we could survive on two hours of sleep a night. In all my years of wifery, I have learned a few things that I think are keys to a strong, loving, God-centered marriage; a top ten of sorts. 10. Say “I love you” everyday. Text it, write it, pantomime…get that message out there! 9. Sleep on it… I actually think going to bed angry is OK. Then you don’t argue while crabby. Start fresh in the AM. 8. Do stuff together. Take walks together. Cook together.Never stop dating. Even grocery shopping is more fun with your spouse…usually. Sitting by each other while both on your smart phone doesn’t count. 7. Dream together. What do you want to do as a couple? Where would you like to travel? Where do you see your family in the future? Plan your dreams together. 6. Support each other. I know this may come as a shock, but sometimes Jeff and I don’t see eye to eye on everything. Still, I try to show a united front. Be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. 5. Have fun together. It’s ok to be goofy with your spouse. Let your silly side come out and laugh with each other. 4. Trust each other. Share your secrets, your thoughts, your fears. Learn to rely on each other for the important stuff and the “unimportant” stuff. 3. Forgive each other. Though some of us are close :), none of us are perfect. It isn’t fair to expect perfection from another person. 2. Pray together. Share a prayer journal, say it out loud, hold hands during worship. All of these connect you to each other and to God. 1. Be humble. Aim to put your spouse above yourself.Jesus humbled himself for us. This isn’t a suggestion to neglect yourself, but to consider the wants and needs of your spouse. This list is not comprehensive. It’s also not a check list of rules to be followed. It is merely a few suggestions on how to approach marriage and make it work. There are people who’ve been married for decades longer than us, and we often set them and their marriages up as models for our relationship. My parents still date each other. Jeff’s parents spend a week in the Boundary Waters camping together. John and Sharon are each other’s biggest supporters. Bob and Lynn share a passion for ministry together. All these couples have been married for decades and are still committed to each other and to God. God created man and woman for each other and the list above is our approach to ensuring our marriage lasts. Those of us in St. Louis are currently wrestling with the death of a 13-month-old boy. He went missing yesterday, and his body was found, unclothed, in a nearby cemetery. With the crime scene a couple miles from our home, I watched 3 helicopters as I held my children, including my own 13-month-old. The mother has been arrested, and a community in shock awaits further details.
Last week, the Penn State scandal dominated the headlines. A highly regarded defensive coordinator is alleged to have abused numerous boys over the course of years, even using his own charity for access. He maintains his innocence, but admits showering with boys and "horsing around." Children are among society's most vulnerable, which is why they can be so easily abused. Child abuse takes on many forms in our current culture as children are degraded, forgotten, and ignored. Much could be written on actual child abuse – physical, verbal, and sexual. But I’d like to focus on some more subtle forms. And I’m afraid that such forms have become common in our current culture. Children are born and then forgotten. Some adults are so engrossed in their careers or personal hobbies that they abuse their kids by neglect. I’m not talking gross negligence like withholding food or shelter. There are laws that punish that kind of abuse. This kind of neglect does not carry a legal consequence. Many parents balk when they realize the sacrifices necessary for children. They rely on baby sitters, not only to watch their kids, but to raise them. Nannies, daycare, TV, and video games become “outs.” They never eat dinner together. When evening comes there is no help with homework or inquisition about the day. Only the flicker of television light in every room, as each individual retreats to their own space. This kind of abuse denies sacrificial love, and ensures that the parents can go on living pre-child lives. Children become nuisances instead of people. Children are born and then idolized. Many parents have kids and then live out their idolatrous desires through them. Such parents are too weak or lazy to discipline or they are philosophically opposed to hard boundaries. Such children are pampered and coddled. When children are idolized, they are believed to be innocent. “How could Johnny ever do anything wrong? I’m sure he didn’t mean to.” (They should read Psalm 51:5). In these households the children rule, not the parents (They should read the fourth commandment). Another sign of this particular abuse is parents who find meaning and status in their child’s achievements. (Remember the dad screaming during the whole game from the bleachers?) Essentially, they live out their desires through the child. David Brook’s book On Paradise Drive describes “the professionalization of childhood.” Tim Keller comments on Brooks’ observations: “From the earliest years, an alliance of parents and schools creates a pressure cooker of competition, designed to produce students who excel in everything. Brooks calls this a “massive organic apparatus, a mighty Achievatron.” The family is no longer a haven in a heartless world . . . Instead, the family has become the nursery where the craving for success is first cultivated.” Children are not born at all. I’m not referring to abortion. That’s another article. I’m referring to the delay if not refusal to have children. What was once 2.5 children is now less than 2. One or two children is more manageable, fiscally responsible, and convenient. I want to be very careful here. I am not advocating irresponsibility when it comes to child-bearing. And this not an indictment against couples with no children. There are factors to be considered. Yet there must be careful reflection when people say, “I don’t want to bring a child into this dangerous world.” Is fear the determining factor? “We want to wait until we’re at a good place financially.” Is money the determining factor? “We want to spend time doing what we want to do before having kids.” I am for this, but I have also seen couples married for ten years, and spending inordinate amounts of money on themselves. In a culture of power, success, and individualism, children are often seen as liabilities and annoyances. When children are abused, especially in subtle ways, our world grows darker. Along with the handicapped, the poor, immigrants, and widows, children are given special attention in Scripture, even though they may not have it in the world. Jesus picked up a child and declared that the characteristics of children will be found in the kingdom of heaven (Matt. 18:3,4). Scripture consistently refers to us as children (Jn. 1:12; Eph. 5;1). The world always overlooks, abandons, and abuses the lowest and weakest. But Jesus calls them “blessed” and residents of the Kingdom of God (Matt. 5:3). Children cause us to sacrifice. They demand an excess of patience. Their cumbersome mobility cause us to slow down. Their constant need shows us their complete dependence on us. The frailty of their lives, their tantrums and outbursts, all show us the depth of meaning inherent in the word mercy. Such things belong to the Kingdom of God. From a November 7th, 2011 article in Newsweek magazine titled "Don't Let Chaos Get You Down" by Dr. Andrew Weil:
More and more of us are sedentary, spending most of our time indoors. We eat industrial food much altered form its natural sources, and there is reason for concern about how our changed eating habits are affecting our brain activity and moods. We are deluged by an unprecedented overload of information and stimulation in this age of the Internet, email, mobile phones, and multimedia, all of which favor social isolation and certainly affect our emotional and physical health. While I can't follow all of Dr. Weil's conclusions, it's a fascinating article. A century ago, our society transformed from rural and agricultural to urban and industrial. As one who has family who still farms, I recognize that the number of those who work the land continues to decline. In short, we are getting further and further from the soil. My wife, an urban high school science teacher, has students who don't know that potatoes grow underground, or that french fries are made from potatoes. I'm not an extremist, hell-bent either on some hippie commune or an Amish return to 19th century lifestyles. We live in the 21st century. We are living with centuries of progress under our belt. Let's acknowledge that, appreciate it, and continue to move forward. Maybe the task from a Christian perspective is rather simple: Ponder with seriousness the nature of the 1st article of the Apostles Creed: "I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth." There are physical and spiritual consequences to an ignorance of this one sentence. On a physical level, Dr. Weil notes, "a wide range of behavior problems in children who spend less time outdoors. And now the term 'nature-deficit disorder' is invoked as the root cause of an even wider range of both physical and emotional ailments in people of all ages who are disconnected from nature." Think of exercise and a healthy dose of fruits and vegetables. Or vitamin D, necessary for optimum brain health, gained by spending time in the sun. On a spiritual level, a relationship with the Maker of heaven and earth sets us in a proper place within creation. Knowing the Creator gives us identity and meaning as creatures. An understanding of the 1st article of the creed gives us a sense of gratitude as well as a deep sense of responsiblity for what God has made. A 1st article sensability is foundational to our very being as those created by God. As Luther says, "All this He does out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him." So what can you do combat "nature-deficit disorder"?
I'm doing a series of posts on some of the perils of modern life in the third millennium. While there is "nothing new under the sun," 21st century Westerners live a modern life that no previous generation could have imagined. In fact, some advancements may have seemed impossible only a decade ago.
A quick disclaimer: I am not anti-technology. I am not anti-progress. I am not anti-media. I am not Amish . . . although there was that one time when AT&T came to my door to sell U-Verse. They asked, "Who is your current cable provider?" I responded, "We don't have cable. We're Amish." He left. As a pastor and amateur sociologist, I see our society inundated with a plethora of information, but void of meaning. To get a sense of the immense mountain of information you consume, consider:
This audio piece reflects a societal fostering of of endless and empty noise. There are so many noises, images, articles, videos, gossip, billboards, commercials, etc. that you begin to overload. As we continue to catapult with 4G speed into a future of unlimited information, we will have to come to terms with meaning - thoughtful, careful, intelligent meaning. If all we have is a deluge of information with no meaning, we will be left with a society caught in a cycle of what Eugene Peterson describes as "hurry, worry, and flurry." The consequences of "information with no meaning" are serious. Stephen Ilardi, professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas observes, "The more 'modern' a society's way of life, the higher its rate of depression. It may seem baffling, but the explanation is simple: the human body was never designed for the modern postindustrial environment." As a people who live in this "modern, postindustrial environment," how shall we live? Can we be "in," but not "of"? Can we build acceptable filters for the information we consume? Can we create times and places in which we stop consuming and start processing information? How might this inform the church's life together? Worship? Community? Preaching? OK . . . I'm fading. Too much time in front of a screen today. Time to unplug . . . |
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