I’m working out a thesis that every human being is tempted to construct an identity, a self that we desire to be. In a series of posts, I'll address three ways we seek to build an identity and three historic Christian practices that provide a better answer to the identity question. Henri Nouwen provides the inspiration for self-diagnosis. We’ll begin with the first, “I am what I do.” I am what I do, what I have, or what others say about me.” - Henri Nouwen The Temptation: I am what I do.
We are often tempted to build an identity by our work. Think about the question asked when meeting someone for the first time. “What do you do?” We are often defined by our work. It’s here that we prove ourselves and gain a sense of worth. “I am what I do” comes with self-help hype. “Accomplish! Hustle! Succeed! Be the hero! Be more productive! Be unique, exceptional, spectacular!” Under the cheerleading, a little voice in us wonders, “If I do more, then will people like me? Will they pay attention to me? Will I overcome rejection and be accepted? Will I finally be someone?” Or we may even extend it to God. “Will He accept me?” So you work, and do, and achieve, and accomplish. And it’s good, but is it enough? So you do more. More hours. More projects. More business. More things to fill up the schedule. More practice. Another degree. Another volunteer role or board position. Eugene Peterson once wrote that we suffer from “a blasphemous anxiety to do God’s work for him.” We think that if we don’t do it, no one can or will. Christians are especially tempted to create an identity based on what we do because we think, “I’m doing this for God, right? I’m doing good work. Doesn’t he want me to?” But there is a problem with identity based on my body of work. If I am what I do, what happens when I can’t “do”? Or when I’m mediocre? Or worst of all, what happens when I fail? Then who am I? We all reach our limits. You do everything and it’s never enough. The Practice: Sabbath The truth of our identity in Christ is that he takes us as we are, not for what we do. Grace means that we do not earn or deserve God’s favor. We don’t need to produce a resume. We don’t have to achieve a standard, or submit a body of work to prove ourselves. Value is bestowed, in Christ, proven with blood. Does this mean we do nothing? No, but the motivation for our doing is entirely different. The “beloved of God” don’t have to do good work, they get to. You may well believe this, but why do you keep obsessing over how much you accomplish? How do we live into our God-given identity? Sabbath literally means to “cease” or “stop.” A sabbath day confronts our self-justifying work by pushing a holy pause button. On this day we cease to do, make, and work. Self-obsession is replaced by a God-given imprint. We stop long enough to actually hear him speak and we’re reminded, “Your identity is creature, not Creator.” It subdues my compulsive desire to work endlessly. On the sabbath day my guiding image is a hummingbird. I am prone to overwork. For six days a week I dart here and there like a hummingbird. This little creature beats its wings up to 70 times per second! Thousands of times per minute! But every evening, this hyper creature goes into a state called torpor. It’s like a daily state of hibernation. Its heartbeat and temperature decline dramatically. Its metabolism slows by as much as 95%. Torpor is my word for practicing sabbath. I cease to do work. I shut off email and media. I attempt to be unproductive. When I feel like “I should be doing something,” I remember that God takes care of the hummingbird in its torpor state. The world goes on, even when I’m not working. My job, my family, and all my responsibilities - God cares for them in my absence. In fact, things often improve when I stop working on them! If you are tempted to construct an identity based on what you do, Sabbath-keeping is a resistance to the obsession. It is a day devoted to repentance and rest. A day to listen and not speak, to receive and not produce. I stop being Martha, in an anxious scurry around the kitchen. Instead, I’m Mary, simply sitting at Jesus’ feet. In my rest, I discover myself in Christ once again. I am not what I do. I am because of Him.
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Mark Kinnard
11/16/2023 12:40:46 pm
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